AN OPEN LETTER TO MRS. AKANBI ELIZABETH, WIDOW OF LATE MINISTER TOLUWANISINGS
Dear Sister Elizabeth,
Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.
Please accept my deepest and most sincere condolences on the passing of your beloved husband, Minister Olayemi Bayonile Bolaji, popularly known as Toluwanisings. No one can fully comprehend the pain of losing a husband so suddenly, except you who bears it daily. We saw your tears at the tribute night in Ibadan, and we continue to uphold you and the children in our prayers.
Ma, I write as a concerned brother in Christ, compelled by the burial dispute that has now become a matter of public discourse online.
We have heard that you expressed a desire not to have your husband buried in his compound, as seeing his grave daily would cause you pain and bitterness.
Ma, we understand and deeply respect your pain. However, please permit me, with all due respect, to share the concerns now being expressed by many who loved his ministry:
- On Not Wanting to See the Grave
Ma, if the grave will remind you of pain, what about the children who are with you every day? They bear his resemblance, they bear his name, and they will ask about him every day. His memory cannot be avoided because his memory lives in them.
When you visit the bank to process his entitlements, when you log into his YouTube channel, or when his songs are played on the radio, you will remember him. It is not the grave that brings the memory; it is love that brings the memory.
- On The Future of The Children
Ma, these children will grow up tomorrow. If their father, who built a house of his own, is not buried at home, what story will they tell their own children? In Yorubaland, a man’s final resting place connects his children to their roots and heritage.
For the sake of their future identity, and so they may have a place to say, “This is where our father lies,” please consider allowing the family to lay him to rest at home. It will give the children a sense of belonging and pride that no public cemetery can offer.
- On Public Suspicion and Rumours
Ma, please forgive my frankness, but this disagreement over the burial site has fueled unnecessary suspicion and rumours about his death. The same people who loved and celebrated his ministry are now saying all sorts of things online. Threats from the family to exhume his body if buried at the cemetery are only making matters worse.
If you and the family can agree on a single burial place, all the rumours — about hospital rejection, about Tope Alabi and others, about property and royalties — will naturally die down.
- On His Royalties and Legacy
Ma, his music will continue to earn, and his name will continue to open doors. A time will come when you will need to claim his royalties and benefits for the upkeep of the children. When that time comes, you will require the cooperation and support of his family to process Letters of Administration and other legal documents. Peace today will help you secure and manage his legacy for the children tomorrow.
My Humble Appeal
For the sake of your children, for the peace of your late husband, and for the unity of the body of Christ, I humbly appeal to you to sit down with the elders of the family and with respected fathers in the gospel who have called for peace.
Please listen to the voice of reason and allow him to be buried where his father and mother can watch over him — where his children can always visit their paternal home with dignity and pride.
Burying him at home does not mean you must live daily with the sight of his grave. You can live wherever you find peace. But burying him at home ensures that his children will never be told that they have no place in their father’s house.
May the Almighty God grant you the wisdom of a mother, the strength of a widow, and a heart of peace.
We love you, we love the children, and we will continue to pray for you.
Yours sincerely,
A Concerned Brother Who Loves the Ministry of Toluwanisings
